Sarahndipity

Sorry, I can't hear you over how demanding I am.

Tue, 25 Aug 2009 12:17:17 -0600

Me: Can you pick up some flowers for your mom before dinner tonight?

Him: Good Idea, what kind should I get?

Me: Oh, whatever, something pretty. It might be nice to have some for our house, too.

Him: Ok.

Me: It would be really nice if they were lilles.

Him: Got it.

Me: But make sure that they're a nice shade of pink, not too peachy.

Him: Ok.

Me: And also make sure that they're not too opened or they'll die sooner.

Him: *remembering when the words boyfriend and manservant weren't synonymous*

shorterexcerpts:(via juliasegal) I wasn’t ready for this...

Tue, 25 Aug 2009 10:16:00 -0600

shorterexcerpts:(via juliasegal)

I wasn’t ready for this yet today.

Solid Life Effort, Sarah

Tue, 25 Aug 2009 10:03:30 -0600

I think the quality of my attitude is inversely proportional to the amount of swearing I do.

Yeah, today we’re at about one in every six words.

I'm not sure that it would be possible to effectively communicate just how much I don't care today.

Tue, 25 Aug 2009 09:51:12 -0600

catherine-elise:justbesplendid:(via mytickledpink)

Tue, 25 Aug 2009 09:45:45 -0600

catherine-elise:justbesplendid:(via mytickledpink)

(via meepmeepmeep)

Tue, 25 Aug 2009 09:24:41 -0600

(via meepmeepmeep)

thedailywhat: Buy This: Cigarette-shaped butane lighter from...

Tue, 25 Aug 2009 08:52:15 -0600

thedailywhat:

Buy This: Cigarette-shaped butane lighter from DealExtreme.

Sure, you could light your cigarette with a cigarette-shaped lighter, but unravelling the very fabric of the space-time continuum and destroying the entire universe might put a damper on your ability to smoke. Just saying.

[via.]

Oh, because having a cigarrette shaped lighter after spending a couple hours in the bar would ALWAYS END REALLY WELL. I’m dumb enough already, do we really need to make things more complicated?

dealbreaker:(via theidiotking)

Tue, 25 Aug 2009 08:47:43 -0600

dealbreaker:(via theidiotking)

I need a couple of minutes of silence.

Tue, 25 Aug 2009 08:46:48 -0600

And by a couple minutes, I mean no one fucking talk to me today.

This message is brought to you by the My Co-workers Are All Fucking Idiots Association. (You know, the MCAAFIA)

I'm having a moment.

Mon, 24 Aug 2009 21:20:06 -0600

I spend $250 dollars on groceries today. Two Hundred and Fifty Mother Fucking Dollars. Obviously, this isn’t just food for me. It’s food for the jolly green fucking giant I live with - and we ‘split’ groceries. Except I think it would take me six months to eat that amount of food. So we split the cost. I need a couple minutes.

Two hundred and fifty dollars. Mama coulda bought a new pair of shoes. A girl can live on lettuce and ramen noodles.

Honest to God, people.

Mon, 24 Aug 2009 14:52:01 -0600

Deodorant.

It should be an important part of your day.

Yeah, you.

My coworker is talking to his drug dealer on the phone. At work. Loudly. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU.

Mon, 24 Aug 2009 14:37:02 -0600

My coworker is talking to his drug dealer on the phone. At work. Loudly.

WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU.

Hey, you’re a pretty cool person, and I need your email address for some reason. Sorry, what...

Mon, 24 Aug 2009 14:29:17 -0600

Hey, you’re a pretty cool person, and I need your email address for some reason. Sorry, what was that? Sexythang_2007@hotmail.com? Excuse me? Wait a second, you give that out to people? With a straight face? I’m sure there’s a possiblity that you were a sexy thang in 2007, but now you’re just an idiot with a ridiculous email address. I have no respect for you. And yes, I am judging you soley on your email address. And the fact that you think it’s ok to use for things other than plentyoffish.com. Even for that, it’s pretty touch and go. But really, I’m thinking that it’s a safe bet to assume you aren’t really someone I need to know.

Yes, I’m serious.

inlovewiththerisk: love.

Mon, 24 Aug 2009 09:49:56 -0600

inlovewiththerisk:

love.

bringtheruckuss:livejamie: The Beach Boys - Wouldn’t It Be Nice...

Mon, 24 Aug 2009 08:18:05 -0600

bringtheruckuss:livejamie:

The Beach Boys - Wouldn’t It Be Nice (The Girls Can Hear Us Remix)

Stagette time. You all behave yourselves, since you know I...

Sat, 22 Aug 2009 15:10:47 -0600

Stagette time. You all behave yourselves, since you know I won’t.

Today

Sat, 22 Aug 2009 15:04:58 -0600

Ate two pieces of cheese and a cream soda for breakfast.

Watched three episodes of sixteen and pregnant.

Painted my nails an outrageous shade of red.

Ate three cupcakes for lunch.

CAN’T YOU TELL I’M A GROWN UP?

Identifying with Mariah Carey

Sat, 22 Aug 2009 14:23:43 -0600

So, I don’t know if I told you all or not, but I’m going back to school this year. My job won’t exactly translate into part-time, so recently I got a job at a restaurant. I really liked the job - until yesterday. Story time, kids.

If you’ve ever worked in a restaurant, you understand the basics when it comes to scheduling: the good servers get the good shifts, the best servers get the best shifts. Seniority has just about zero to do with it. I’m generally scheduled fairly good shifts, but next week I have the best ones. Needless to say, this may have upset a few of the girls. One specifically, that felt that she should be getting said shifts.

Now, you put any amount of females in a space together, and boom - gossip. DUH. Restaurants are particularly bad for it, they are generally cesspools of rumors and drama. Also, just generally std cesspools (seriously, why are there so many sluts serving people food?) So needless to say, me getting better shifts than girls that have been there longer has caused a few problems. Apparently, the only reason I’ve gotten those shifts is because I must be sleeping with one of the leaders. It couldn’t possibly be because I’m prettier and better at my job. Listen, I know looks shouldn’t matter, but come on people, it’s a restaurant and that’s how it works.

Now, the leader in question (the one I’m sleeping with, for those of you following along at home) and I get along really well. I know it’s really hard for some girls to be friends with a dude without sticking his cock down her throat, but since I’m practically married, I manage to find a way.

I’m disinterested in drama. So disinterested. I’m not at work to make friends (sorry girls, I already got my own), and I don’t really care about what people think of me. However, I’m not sure how long I can deal with people ending their conversations as soon as I show up. I went to high school, I know what that means. I know I got to suck it up, because getting involved in it won’t make it go away any sooner.

RECAP:

girls are lame
chances that I am going to get progressively more passive aggressive: strong
getting along with someone does not mean you’re fucking them
someone do something stupid to take the focus off me.

why you so obsessed with me?

Current Status: Huge Loser.

Sat, 22 Aug 2009 11:34:35 -0600

I just watched A Walk to Remember for the first time. A movie starring Mandy Moore? Eff yes, I thought to myself completely unsuspecting. HOLY CRAP. THIS WAS THE SADDEST THING I HAVE EVER SEEN. Two hours of watching puppies being tortured would have been less traumatic.

Mandy Moore, you have melted my cold, black heart and touched me. You have touched my soul.

Thank you for attending the most embarrassing post of my whole life.

Guetta ft. Akon - Sexy Bitch. Listen, I’m sorry. But...

Fri, 21 Aug 2009 09:07:11 -0600

Guetta ft. Akon - Sexy Bitch.

Listen, I’m sorry. But it’s catchy.