Sorry, I can't hear you over how demanding I am.
Me: Can you pick up some flowers for your mom before dinner tonight?Him: Good Idea, what kind should I get?
Me: Oh, whatever, something pretty. It might be nice to have some for our house, too.
Him: Ok.
Me: It would be really nice if they were lilles.
Him: Got it.
Me: But make sure that they're a nice shade of pink, not too peachy.
Him: Ok.
Me: And also make sure that they're not too opened or they'll die sooner.
Him: *remembering when the words boyfriend and manservant weren't synonymous*
Solid Life Effort, Sarah
I think the quality of my attitude is inversely proportional to the amount of swearing I do.
Yeah, today we’re at about one in every six words.
I'm not sure that it would be possible to effectively communicate just how much I don't care today.
Buy This: Cigarette-shaped butane lighter from DealExtreme.
Sure, you could light your cigarette with a cigarette-shaped lighter, but unravelling the very fabric of the space-time continuum and destroying the entire universe might put a damper on your ability to smoke. Just saying.
[via.]
Oh, because having a cigarrette shaped lighter after spending a couple hours in the bar would ALWAYS END REALLY WELL. I’m dumb enough already, do we really need to make things more complicated?
I need a couple of minutes of silence.
And by a couple minutes, I mean no one fucking talk to me today.
This message is brought to you by the My Co-workers Are All Fucking Idiots Association. (You know, the MCAAFIA)
I'm having a moment.
I spend $250 dollars on groceries today. Two Hundred and Fifty Mother Fucking Dollars. Obviously, this isn’t just food for me. It’s food for the jolly green fucking giant I live with - and we ‘split’ groceries. Except I think it would take me six months to eat that amount of food. So we split the cost. I need a couple minutes.
Two hundred and fifty dollars. Mama coulda bought a new pair of shoes. A girl can live on lettuce and ramen noodles.
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